"Be Still."

“Be Still.” The words God uttered to me day after day this semester. The words I struggled to comprehend and obey. The words that sometimes made me mad. The words I fought with. The words God kindly whispered even when I ignored them. Words that speak of His faithfulness and unending love. Words that mean there is nothing I can do or need to do. Words that mean He’s got it. He’s taking care of it. Your life is in the palm of His hands. Words that mean to rest. Rest?

College students don’t rest. Maddy Kross doesn’t rest. Maddy lives a life of perfection and control. A life where she can predict and prepare for what’s ahead. A life of seeking to have a firm grip on everything so that nothing slips through the cracks. A life of striving and determination. A life of exhaustion.

And this, the Lord knew. He watched me strive and struggle to be in control. He watched me fight against His plans. He watched me grasp for answers out of a desire to understand and control the future. He watched me disobey His commands. But still He continued to whisper, “Be Still.” Day after day. Not out of frustration but out of love.

Out of love He kept tugging at my stubborn heart to look His way.  Out of Love He gently pulled at my clutched fists holding onto every bit of control I thought I had. Out of love He told me “No.” He told me this is not in my control. It’s been in His hands all along. Where is belongs. He told me to stop and “Be Still.”

I didn’t get it. Be Still? I was furious. I knew best. I had it all figured out.

The Lord told me, “I am fighting for your good and My glory.” Then I got it. I don’t know best. I don’t see the whole picture. My life was never in my own hands. I was stripped of my pride. I saw myself completely out of control.

Completely out of control yet completely loved. Not for the things that I had done or the things I would do. I’m completely loved for me. For who I am in Christ. Because I am His. Because He created me and loves me. He sees the deepest corners of my heart and loves me still. Wholly and completely.

Now empty-handed, this is what I hold onto. The promise that I am His and I am loved. The promise that He is working for my good and His glory. The promise that I don’t have to understand what is going on, I just have to trust Him. And my, how freeing this feels. This is what it looks like to rest. To be able to sit. Content in His presence. I can do absolutely nothing yet His face smiles upon me. He delights in me. And I can rest.

This is where rest is found. Not in a place of striving and grasping but in a place of looking upon His face in trust. Cause the one who hold the future holds my heart. “Be Still.”

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." (Exodus 14:14)